Beer-Guzzling Feline

Maybe it's just the nature of my job, but for some reason I've become acutely aware of all the little, weird things I do, as well as the things other people do. Uncomfortably so at times, to the point where I start second-guessing myself. Did I say that because I'm secretly insecure about my weight? That thought, as many of you who know me personally could guess, occurs quite often.

But pardon me, this post isn't about myself. That would be selfish. This is about some OTHER guy.

Okay, all faux-hypocrisy aside, it really is funny why people do the things they do. I've pretty much given up trying to figure it out for the most part, since I usually don't understand the things I do. If I can't figure that out, what business do I have analyzing someone else?

Doesn't stop me from wondering though. Today at the store, I was in line behind this mullet-sporting guy who wore short shorts and was only buying two things -- cat food and beer. Weird combination. He must've been aware how odd this seemed, since he spent his entire time at the register telling the cashier things like "I was just gonna get cat food, but then I thought my cat might want a beer."

Given that it wasn't particularly funny or clever, WHY did he feel the need to say this? Maybe he sensed the cashier's eyes of judgment staring into his soul or felt guilty for skimping on his cat's food so he could afford the beer. Then again for all I know he's a hedonist millionaire, which makes both of those points moot. There's so much I don't know and I don't have room or authority to make a judgment call.

Point is, I don't know, and all I'm left with is a situation where I'm stuck in line behind a guy buying cat food and beer who blames the beer purchase on his cat. But I'll be darned if the situation wasn't really amusing.

Maybe I should just apply Occam's razor to this situation: His cat has a drinking problem and he's an enabler.


You really can find anything on Google.