Views On Music And Why I Hate Hoobastank

You know, I'm one of the first people to admit that my views on music are odd, and I'm not just talking about the kind of music I personally enjoy.  Finnish symphonic metal bands aren't everyone's cup of tea and I understand that.  But I really do have odd views on the whole spectrum of music as a whole.

I know, that makes no sense.  But consider first how people's general views of band or artist usually line up pretty well with their perception of their skill.  It looks kind of like this:

Notice how it's a fairly linear graph from left to right, with almost perfect correlation between the two values.

Now I've noticed something odd -- my opinion of bands and artists doesn't follow this linear graph.  Rather, it seems to be more of a bell curve when graphed along with skill, and not a particularly uniform one at that.  I love a great band, but I maintain a certain amount of respect for terrible bands, because more often than not they're trying and you can tell they're having fun.  My true ire is saved for those mediocre, middle of the road bands that have just enough talent to sound decent but not enough drive to actually rise above sounding like everyone else.  Observe:

I really don't think this is too harsh.

So who falls into that middle of the road category?  You probably know them pretty well.  Bands like Nickelback.  The Jonas Brothers.  I'm sorry, but Coldplay.  Artists like Cyrus, Beiber and the rest of all those Disney Channel androids.  I'd put Creed here but they've been done ten years now and that'd be disrespectful to the dead.

And of course, my ultimate nemesis, who is so hated that I refuse to write their name correctly and insist on referring to them by a clever pseudonym I made up:  Hoobasuck.  I do not understand how anyone could possess talent and willfully choose mediocrity over actually going somewhere.  If you listen to them (please understand, I'm not actually recommending you do this), you can tell that they know their instruments.  They can play.  The lead singer can sing, although he could stand to not, you know, sound like every other frontman in the business.

But they choose this mediocrity.  It's all bland, uninspired, sounds exactly like a huge mishmash of everyone else, and it just aggravates me to no end.  Even their lyrics are terrible:

What do I have to do / to get inside of you / to get inside of you / Cause I love the way you move / when I'm inside of you / when I'm inside of you

That's sick and stalker-esque, not to mention downright irritating.  I come up with better lyrics by farting through a cardboard tube. 

You know what man?  If you're writing tons of songs like that about a girl that left you, I've got a pretty good idea why she left.

Forgive me, but these guys really get me going.  I feel it's only appropriate at this point to end this angry rant with the following image: